Lord God,
maybe I can better express myself through this stupid thing than on paper.
I am aggravated with money situations. What am I going to do, Father? My parents are having to carry too much of this and I'm not okay with it. I have one month to come up with $1200. Faith, I keep telling myself. Faith in what though? You alone? You alone.
Last night I worked, then headed over to Doms to give him a giant pizza cookie. We were supposed to meet up with Sheen and Brit in Tempe, but they decided not to go. Instead they said we should see a movie. So Dom and I look up movie times and discuss which movie we should see. The girls decide they want to go bowling with a group of people in Scottsdale-so we concur and head out. Brit texts me and tells me they're not going bowling anymore so we shouldn't waste our gas driving all the way up there. So Dominic and I rolled off the freeway into Tempe Market place where our movie was playing in about two hours time. We walked around, grabbed coffee, ran into Josh, Lauren, and Alex-apparently there's rumor going around that I'm engaged to Cole. After that we grabbed some books at barns and noble and sat in the kids section reading and talking with each other.
We make it to the movie theater. Amy Lauricello was there with some friends. I ducked and hid. I didn't want to say hi to her. Why? I don't know. I just---I guess I've just heard people saying that her and Steve hooked up after we broke up-and she lied about it. I don't know. So I explain that to Dom.
Then we get inside, and Haylee Murphy steps through the door. Then I really duck. What the heck, God? I haven't seen her in ages. Telling Dom the relationship between her and I was... strange. The movie we saw, Pride and Glory, was pretty much a mistake. It was about corrupt police officers. They did horrible things and it ended really lame.
But with all things considered, it was my favorite night of the week thus far.
Mom bought me my dress for Cora's wedding. It's absolutely beautiful. I am so grateful.

Lord, what is your plan for my life?
What do I do with these bills and desires for relationship and escape?
Make things clear, Father. Please. I feel like people are going to start judging me based off of-well my lack of money.
That I'm being lazy cause I haven't found a job yet. But what do I do? Am I being a fool?

Be with my today.
I love You.