Friday.

If you're given the chance to make a choice,

a right choice-what do you do?

Would you fight for what's right or just do what comes more naturally?

I wish things could be more distinct. Not necessarily for me, but for those around me, and those that have done wrongs against me. Your opportunities are seemingly endless, to make things right. But--there's only a level of right you'll be able to achieve once you've wronged time folded over time, and again.

If we could get things right, right off the bat, and I don't mean perfect, but the desire and the sacrifice to do the right thing, the heart that longs to have things straight no matter what the cost, oh my goodness, the broken heart rates would drop. How many suicides and broken homes we could save. But we yell, and we hurt one another. You were given the chance to rebuild something and make it stronger, and you destroyed it. How many chances do you get? 

Do you get as many as it takes to get it right?

It's those that fight for the good, that get screwed over. Because we're the only ones standing--therefore the only ones capable of being shoved to the ground. Keep standing, I beg you.

This is written to my no one's that will never read this.

God is doing something different inside of me, I think. There are so many things, and feelings, that I truly just don't understand. Maybe one day, though, yah?

I will always fight for what I believe is right. I will always do my very very best to protect and love.

It just hurts to know that the lot of you out there aren't willing to do the same.

I have been stand-off-ish lately, I'm pretty sure. I'm nice, but cut conversations short. I make eye contact and forget to smile. I mean to, though. Smile, that is.

There's that snake like feeling through the core of me. It kind of whips around my spine and makes my throat feel tiny. I'm not sure what it is. I don't know what I'm anticipating.

I'm not worried about things, I'm just... thinking about things.

And people. I'm thinking about people, mostly. And their well-being. 

I have never looked at myself as a people pleaser, nor will I ever be that. But--I will say, that I will (always?) do what it takes to make sure someone is comfortable and squared away. Protected.

Protection. That's a word that's been chasing me today. Not so much that I personally want to be protected (though I do,) I want to protect other people from the aches around them.

I've yet to pick up my cross today.

I'm never sure what that means until I do it. Then I get it.

Love is a journey that's been trying to creep up on me. It hasn't arrived at my feet just yet.

The boy lingers in his own thoughts. He won't share with me--though I'm dying for him to.

I feel mistreated, though I'm not being treated at all. Few words have been spoken between us in the past two weeks. He'll be the one to change that, won't he? He won't, will he?

It's nothing serious, the things that I feel. But if we talk and agree on it, they could be.

No pressure. I mean it. No pressure. If your world is too dizzy to find an in for me. That's fine. I'll learn to be fine with that. No promises, no plans. Just let me know.

Drop sister off at church.

Swing by the boys gig.

Swing by SCA's football game.

Swing home and dream  up something beautiful.

I am good today.

Strangely nervous. But good (: