I cloud into my bedroom,
Hello striped walls.
Daybed smiles forwardly, into me, crawl.
I try desperately to breathe out my anxieties.
But I'm overtaken by societies
inability to make me whole.
Cold.
The whining inside my head
dulls my character.
Dare I open my mouth and express what I feel
What I fear
What I dare to attempt to deal.
Oh, but instead I sulk, don't I?
And the enemy, he lurks, doesn't he?
Definitely, he won't let me be.
So I press forward into this mess we call earth
And pray to heaven that this dream, I will birth.
Because waiting on sunshine,
and sipping on red wine,
is not enough to subdue my soul.
I unfold myself onto a piece of paper.
I staple my thoughts under the ink.
I can't blink.
Encouragement sweats out of my body.
Blotches of emotional paint cover my fingertips.
I try to create from this pain.
These fleeting thoughts,
this dot-to-dot picture that won't take shape
has been nothing but something I wish to escape.
But it's my life. This strange puzzle with too many pieces
is my work of art, a love that never ceases.
Fragile one,
I lay myself down.
Clutching vanity,
I let myself drown.
I pray for hope,
Receiving is a must.
Letting go of material,
leaving lifelessness in the dust...